Cheering for a Harris Presidency like we’re actually doing something good is the stuff of pussy-footed cowards AND I am SICK our addiction to manufactured happy endings.
Trying to rid myself of the addiction to the comfort of virtue signaling. So tempting to have whatever opinion is trendy as “correct” or “moral.” So, so tempting
Thanks so much for sharing your words. I’ve been ruminating on voting and have also found myself caught up in frustration as I watch folks rally behind Kamala in the name of harm reduction. I was talking to a friend about talking points about the importance of the act of voting, particularly among Black folks, incarcerated/formerly incarcerated, unhoused trans folks. The question that came up was this: if voting doesn’t do anything to tangibly change the material conditions of the most marginalized then why do said groups still face suppression? I’d love to get your answer. My answer is that aside from being a false sense of power the act of voting is also another form of spectacle like you mentioned but I def appreciate the inclusion of a happy ending because that completes my thought. We’re also caught up in the act of voting rather than the institution of voting and understanding what this shit was meant for. I’m newly radicalized (as of Oct 2023) and there’s been a lot of study and discussion and restudy and now I’m in a place of brainstorming and eventual action taking. I’ve been thinking a lot about voting. I’ve gotten into heated arguments with my parents about not voting. My mom’s a social worker and she brought up the harm reduction argument but I was just like why can’t we just show up for each other everyday, all the time rather than give that up to someone else whether on the local, state or federal level to do it. It’ll take a lot of work and energy and resource pooling but it just makes more sense to me to do harm reduction actually rather than try to morph voting into harm reduction. All of this would of course mean becoming comfortable with being uncomfortable and thinking long term toward revolution and to escape the pendulum of revolution and counterrevolution. I’ve thought about voting in the context of the U.S. but also branching out elsewhere (like Nigeria which is where my family is from). I just keep going back to that question of why deprive folks of something that doesn’t work? I’m still thinking about voting system wise versus the act itself. That’s led me to think about about voting as an instrument of the state and the state as a global icon of inherent legitimacy (of course not with the U.S. as an entity in existence cause sovereignty literally means nothing but even to that point why do we operate as boundaries even when we pledge solidarity to one another?; why do we cling on to boundaries that garner no respect on the global stage because said boundaries define the global stage and are colonial not only in boundary but in structure?; If statehood in a colonial capitalist world means sovereign exploitation of resources (either for the benefit of the few or the benefit of the many) is the best approach to aspire to statehood or to aspire to be stateless like complete negation?). Either way it’s definitely will require actually doing the work of harm reduction (i.e. studying the needs of people and working alongside them to meet them and rally towards class revolution). Sorry for the long comment but you got me thinking. Much love 💓
(thank you for writing the long comment you captured so many of my thoughts) i think voting as an act definitely serves as an icon of freedom and we love to look at a shiny thing! america runs on entertainment. in south africa (where i grew up) voting is a Huge icon of freedom because of how recently suffrage was won for black people (1994) but the issues - of corruption, state violence & disinterest, american influence etc - befall us still. voting in this election has felt like “all i can do” but after being in these historic marches year after year, after Voting!! and having you spell out so clearly what i was already considering- i’ve been sitting on this voting in 2024 election fence bc of the recent south african election. my family is also nigerian, so my head is there too. and history of where i come from and (everyone else outside of the West) knows that there is no such thing as a good american president, ever. it’s wild because (ismatu) you clocked the fence and mowed it down as soon as you talked about having a child and having to be ok with confessing your complicity to them if i voted for a different shade of genocide. i have a lot to think about and a few more listens of this to go. thank you for all your work ❤️
"but I was just like why can’t we just show up for each other everyday, all the time rather than give that up to someone else" --- exactly what I wonder about all the time. On thw one hand voting is empowering and can indeed be effective, but on the other hand.... building care infrastructure and investing in one another, now instead of later, is so so important. That's how we survive poverty, climate change, instability, everything the 21st century is throwing at us. It's about we the people, not these fucking politicians.
"If statehood in a colonial capitalist world means sovereign exploitation of resources (either for the benefit of the few or the benefit of the many) is the best approach to aspire to statehood or to aspire to be stateless like complete negation?)" Such an interesting question..... I love the idea of being stateless, belonging only to the earth, saving the earth from our extractive systems.... but then again, I'm a white Us-born citizen, what do I know about the trials and dangers of statelessness in this world.
I would recommend to you Ms. Ogbuli the book "Parable of the Sower" by Octavia Butler... an exploration of what resistance and genius looks like in a difficult future.
Thank you for your thoughts! I agree that statelessness is still something to contend with and I also acknowledge my physical and antagonistic positionally to state living in the settler colonial capitalist genocidal U.S. I do find that the answer lies with the fall of the U.S. When it falls, questions of state, stolen people on stolen land and sociopolitical economy will take center stage! I will take you up on your recommendation. Thank you again!
Consider this, along with the notion that most US citizens and human beings love comfort, agency, and spectacle: The idea that voting is powerful due to the notion that they wouldn't try to hinder us from doing it if it were not important, is a false premise. The reason I think that is due to my analysis of the history of how marginalized people "won" the right to vote, and by considering that the yt hegemony has benefited from allowing us to vote. If you know, the term "participation trophy", you may get where I am going with this. Our ability to vote, in the long run, does not offer us a genuine way to wield power or participate in what happens to our bodies, food, healthcare, communities, etc....with the current voting system or political structure. It allows us to FEEL like we have some say so in what happens to us. Those in power, know that. Remember the "buy muffins" analogy? Add to that the notion that if you don't, you are betraying ancestors (you aren't), and people fight about it, because they believe they are actually wielding power....the "only power they have"....which was given to us by the same people who never intended on us participating anyway....consider, that one's enemy who still wields majority power would not have done that if it meant their demise....notice that it has not. What they don't want is for us to completely do away with this entire system, that's why they pretend and so called concede to our demands. They are playing in our faces. If they actually took their own so called Constitution seriously, what would America look like....NOT THIS....and I don't even respect the constitution....cause it's just as corrupt as they are.
Thank your for your response! I agree and liked your explanation of the false premise around voting and in combination with the “buy muffins” analogy it shows that people don’t really (and aren’t encouraged to) understand the “why” behind the actions they take or even assess the outcome of said action. Like even when there is an answer or the literacy of “our ancestors fought for this” that’s also doesn’t protect from the abstraction of the why. “Our ancestors fought for this” has gotten so watered down and taken for granted rather than prompting more critical discussion on voting let alone what the vote has allowed us to achieve.
At least in my own self-exploration, it seems the desire to be/stay comfortable comes from a deep fear of discomfort and suffering (this is not news). The fear is arresting and demobilizing and, almost always, occludes our ability to know our capacity for resilience. (Indeed, so often i am confronted by a fear of ___ and feel i would not wish to live through it). The fear loses some of its teeth by the thought that, whatever happens, I can bear it and survive it.
the other component is that when i feel this fear of discomfort, it is so lonely. I do not imagine myself supported by other people. While granted, we must depend on ourselves foremost and cannot assume the support of others, it’s easy to forget just how connected we are to each other—that in some ways we can’t be truly alone if we tried. It is so easy in this country to feel totally isolated and this compounds the fear. I am reminded that “getting through” something hard and scary is that much easier with other people to share the burden. Indeed, love moves us beyond fear.
i have to try to find the balance between letting myself experience pleasure vs coalescing to addicting comfort. I don’t know if there is a “right” way to take care of yourself and your mind within such a fucked up system. but the first step is staying close to the truth.
i'm really holding to the idea that there is no me without the me around me. that when i feel that there is no one and no love, what i am feeling is that i am scared. scared of needing us, so nakedly, scared of needing us to need me too, over and over, 'til my consciousness spills over like paint. i hope other people can hold the seductions of despair at bay with similar reflections & mantras too. much lov <3
This is something that I have been grappling with ever since Biden dropped out of the race. When she was endorsed immediately after, I felt the immediate sense of disappointment (but not surprise) that the next candidate was truly no better than the previous. Beyond that, I only became old enough to vote 2 years ago, and my family has been pressuring me about voting, and in the 20 years that I've been alive, I've never truly seen voting work in the United States. This country, including myself, keep wondering when these politicians are going to work for us, when we've always had the power to work for us without them. I just wish the people who are pushing for Harris would admit that they are voting to be comfortable, not to create any actual change or for harm reduction.
Here to say thanks, appreciate you and appreciate that truth persists through you, and am (hopefully) soon to be in a situation where I can be a paying patron xx
Dragged by every hair on my body. I am now a naked mole rat. Thanks for the reminder. And then for reminding us again. I hope you’re well, spiritually.
Ismatu Gwendolyn, once again your writing has made me viscerally uncomfortable. But it is the discomfort of being confronted by something you know to be true, and it is a discomfort that must be experienced to move on with the work that must be done. I am praying for you and yours while I do the work in front of me.
the dread i feel after reading this is sobering. i don’t want to die, however i know that this system is slowly killing us. i do not mind the discomfort, i’ve decided i’m okay with letting every material good and comfort go if it means liberation. because i will find true comfort in a liberated world. i love to dress up and put on makeup and accessorize, however i know a lot of this comes from comforting myself and temporarily shielding myself from the things that are threatening my personal and targeted killing. if these things do not exist, then i will actually have agency over how i exist. i think the main thing i fear is death in this fight. i want to live to be alive, to experience everything. i wonder what my role will be in revolution, whether i will be writing or militarizing. i will continue to talk, build community, and love.
me too. i mean i will dress up regardless, if i have to leave everything behind the clothes on my back will be mine. i just hope that people are willing to build these communities together. my neighborhood is so disconnected from each other. i’ve been sitting here with dread all day thinking about this essay, especially the part that talks about the cost of revolution. hope is a muscle, and mine is kind of not working right now :/.
oh dear. i empathize w how u feel. i always like talking with friends face to face about this stuff, as i'm processing. helps avoid the despair triggers / unhelpfully-catastrophic thinking. be well, dear
&, for what it's worth, many of us will be living on anyway. we'll be walking past whatever cataclysm might occur, despite it all. and, graciously, you don't need hope to know we need each other. and where there is need, there is motion. & fluidity. <3
hey all! here’s the discord link for anyone that was asking for it on yesterday’s live: https://discord.gg/vRZQ48pK
It says "unable to accept invite" :(
ohhh it might’ve expired - here’s a new one! https://discord.gg/kPSY6BUf
ahh it still says unable to accept invite...:( maybe it's full? is there a limit?
it’s possible you hit your server limit? if there’s one you can leave and then try again, that might fix it!
I feel like this take sounds noble in theory but is honestly kind of detached from reality. To reduce so many struggles to "seeking comfort" ...
So many things for me to (re)consider. Thanks!
So much resonates here. I have been struggling to feel compelled to write or paint lately. Thank you for including the Toni Morrison clip 👏🏻❤️
Self harming by way of twitter is SO real😭
Too real😭
Trying to rid myself of the addiction to the comfort of virtue signaling. So tempting to have whatever opinion is trendy as “correct” or “moral.” So, so tempting
Damn…
Thanks so much for sharing your words. I’ve been ruminating on voting and have also found myself caught up in frustration as I watch folks rally behind Kamala in the name of harm reduction. I was talking to a friend about talking points about the importance of the act of voting, particularly among Black folks, incarcerated/formerly incarcerated, unhoused trans folks. The question that came up was this: if voting doesn’t do anything to tangibly change the material conditions of the most marginalized then why do said groups still face suppression? I’d love to get your answer. My answer is that aside from being a false sense of power the act of voting is also another form of spectacle like you mentioned but I def appreciate the inclusion of a happy ending because that completes my thought. We’re also caught up in the act of voting rather than the institution of voting and understanding what this shit was meant for. I’m newly radicalized (as of Oct 2023) and there’s been a lot of study and discussion and restudy and now I’m in a place of brainstorming and eventual action taking. I’ve been thinking a lot about voting. I’ve gotten into heated arguments with my parents about not voting. My mom’s a social worker and she brought up the harm reduction argument but I was just like why can’t we just show up for each other everyday, all the time rather than give that up to someone else whether on the local, state or federal level to do it. It’ll take a lot of work and energy and resource pooling but it just makes more sense to me to do harm reduction actually rather than try to morph voting into harm reduction. All of this would of course mean becoming comfortable with being uncomfortable and thinking long term toward revolution and to escape the pendulum of revolution and counterrevolution. I’ve thought about voting in the context of the U.S. but also branching out elsewhere (like Nigeria which is where my family is from). I just keep going back to that question of why deprive folks of something that doesn’t work? I’m still thinking about voting system wise versus the act itself. That’s led me to think about about voting as an instrument of the state and the state as a global icon of inherent legitimacy (of course not with the U.S. as an entity in existence cause sovereignty literally means nothing but even to that point why do we operate as boundaries even when we pledge solidarity to one another?; why do we cling on to boundaries that garner no respect on the global stage because said boundaries define the global stage and are colonial not only in boundary but in structure?; If statehood in a colonial capitalist world means sovereign exploitation of resources (either for the benefit of the few or the benefit of the many) is the best approach to aspire to statehood or to aspire to be stateless like complete negation?). Either way it’s definitely will require actually doing the work of harm reduction (i.e. studying the needs of people and working alongside them to meet them and rally towards class revolution). Sorry for the long comment but you got me thinking. Much love 💓
(thank you for writing the long comment you captured so many of my thoughts) i think voting as an act definitely serves as an icon of freedom and we love to look at a shiny thing! america runs on entertainment. in south africa (where i grew up) voting is a Huge icon of freedom because of how recently suffrage was won for black people (1994) but the issues - of corruption, state violence & disinterest, american influence etc - befall us still. voting in this election has felt like “all i can do” but after being in these historic marches year after year, after Voting!! and having you spell out so clearly what i was already considering- i’ve been sitting on this voting in 2024 election fence bc of the recent south african election. my family is also nigerian, so my head is there too. and history of where i come from and (everyone else outside of the West) knows that there is no such thing as a good american president, ever. it’s wild because (ismatu) you clocked the fence and mowed it down as soon as you talked about having a child and having to be ok with confessing your complicity to them if i voted for a different shade of genocide. i have a lot to think about and a few more listens of this to go. thank you for all your work ❤️
"but I was just like why can’t we just show up for each other everyday, all the time rather than give that up to someone else" --- exactly what I wonder about all the time. On thw one hand voting is empowering and can indeed be effective, but on the other hand.... building care infrastructure and investing in one another, now instead of later, is so so important. That's how we survive poverty, climate change, instability, everything the 21st century is throwing at us. It's about we the people, not these fucking politicians.
"If statehood in a colonial capitalist world means sovereign exploitation of resources (either for the benefit of the few or the benefit of the many) is the best approach to aspire to statehood or to aspire to be stateless like complete negation?)" Such an interesting question..... I love the idea of being stateless, belonging only to the earth, saving the earth from our extractive systems.... but then again, I'm a white Us-born citizen, what do I know about the trials and dangers of statelessness in this world.
I would recommend to you Ms. Ogbuli the book "Parable of the Sower" by Octavia Butler... an exploration of what resistance and genius looks like in a difficult future.
Thank you for your thoughts! I agree that statelessness is still something to contend with and I also acknowledge my physical and antagonistic positionally to state living in the settler colonial capitalist genocidal U.S. I do find that the answer lies with the fall of the U.S. When it falls, questions of state, stolen people on stolen land and sociopolitical economy will take center stage! I will take you up on your recommendation. Thank you again!
Consider this, along with the notion that most US citizens and human beings love comfort, agency, and spectacle: The idea that voting is powerful due to the notion that they wouldn't try to hinder us from doing it if it were not important, is a false premise. The reason I think that is due to my analysis of the history of how marginalized people "won" the right to vote, and by considering that the yt hegemony has benefited from allowing us to vote. If you know, the term "participation trophy", you may get where I am going with this. Our ability to vote, in the long run, does not offer us a genuine way to wield power or participate in what happens to our bodies, food, healthcare, communities, etc....with the current voting system or political structure. It allows us to FEEL like we have some say so in what happens to us. Those in power, know that. Remember the "buy muffins" analogy? Add to that the notion that if you don't, you are betraying ancestors (you aren't), and people fight about it, because they believe they are actually wielding power....the "only power they have"....which was given to us by the same people who never intended on us participating anyway....consider, that one's enemy who still wields majority power would not have done that if it meant their demise....notice that it has not. What they don't want is for us to completely do away with this entire system, that's why they pretend and so called concede to our demands. They are playing in our faces. If they actually took their own so called Constitution seriously, what would America look like....NOT THIS....and I don't even respect the constitution....cause it's just as corrupt as they are.
Thank your for your response! I agree and liked your explanation of the false premise around voting and in combination with the “buy muffins” analogy it shows that people don’t really (and aren’t encouraged to) understand the “why” behind the actions they take or even assess the outcome of said action. Like even when there is an answer or the literacy of “our ancestors fought for this” that’s also doesn’t protect from the abstraction of the why. “Our ancestors fought for this” has gotten so watered down and taken for granted rather than prompting more critical discussion on voting let alone what the vote has allowed us to achieve.
This captures a thought I've had since I actually understood what the genocide in Palestine means. Guess I should go work on my writing.
At least in my own self-exploration, it seems the desire to be/stay comfortable comes from a deep fear of discomfort and suffering (this is not news). The fear is arresting and demobilizing and, almost always, occludes our ability to know our capacity for resilience. (Indeed, so often i am confronted by a fear of ___ and feel i would not wish to live through it). The fear loses some of its teeth by the thought that, whatever happens, I can bear it and survive it.
the other component is that when i feel this fear of discomfort, it is so lonely. I do not imagine myself supported by other people. While granted, we must depend on ourselves foremost and cannot assume the support of others, it’s easy to forget just how connected we are to each other—that in some ways we can’t be truly alone if we tried. It is so easy in this country to feel totally isolated and this compounds the fear. I am reminded that “getting through” something hard and scary is that much easier with other people to share the burden. Indeed, love moves us beyond fear.
i have to try to find the balance between letting myself experience pleasure vs coalescing to addicting comfort. I don’t know if there is a “right” way to take care of yourself and your mind within such a fucked up system. but the first step is staying close to the truth.
soz for the rambling. thank you for this 💗
Felt^^
i'm really holding to the idea that there is no me without the me around me. that when i feel that there is no one and no love, what i am feeling is that i am scared. scared of needing us, so nakedly, scared of needing us to need me too, over and over, 'til my consciousness spills over like paint. i hope other people can hold the seductions of despair at bay with similar reflections & mantras too. much lov <3
yes. this response. feel this.
I feel like listening to this essay made my whole body exhale. They just make things make sense. Thank you Ismatu <3
This is something that I have been grappling with ever since Biden dropped out of the race. When she was endorsed immediately after, I felt the immediate sense of disappointment (but not surprise) that the next candidate was truly no better than the previous. Beyond that, I only became old enough to vote 2 years ago, and my family has been pressuring me about voting, and in the 20 years that I've been alive, I've never truly seen voting work in the United States. This country, including myself, keep wondering when these politicians are going to work for us, when we've always had the power to work for us without them. I just wish the people who are pushing for Harris would admit that they are voting to be comfortable, not to create any actual change or for harm reduction.
Here to say thanks, appreciate you and appreciate that truth persists through you, and am (hopefully) soon to be in a situation where I can be a paying patron xx
Dragged by every hair on my body. I am now a naked mole rat. Thanks for the reminder. And then for reminding us again. I hope you’re well, spiritually.
Ismatu Gwendolyn, once again your writing has made me viscerally uncomfortable. But it is the discomfort of being confronted by something you know to be true, and it is a discomfort that must be experienced to move on with the work that must be done. I am praying for you and yours while I do the work in front of me.
the dread i feel after reading this is sobering. i don’t want to die, however i know that this system is slowly killing us. i do not mind the discomfort, i’ve decided i’m okay with letting every material good and comfort go if it means liberation. because i will find true comfort in a liberated world. i love to dress up and put on makeup and accessorize, however i know a lot of this comes from comforting myself and temporarily shielding myself from the things that are threatening my personal and targeted killing. if these things do not exist, then i will actually have agency over how i exist. i think the main thing i fear is death in this fight. i want to live to be alive, to experience everything. i wonder what my role will be in revolution, whether i will be writing or militarizing. i will continue to talk, build community, and love.
i hope our communities of care + their becoming-infrastructures can make room for a little dress-up hehe
me too. i mean i will dress up regardless, if i have to leave everything behind the clothes on my back will be mine. i just hope that people are willing to build these communities together. my neighborhood is so disconnected from each other. i’ve been sitting here with dread all day thinking about this essay, especially the part that talks about the cost of revolution. hope is a muscle, and mine is kind of not working right now :/.
oh dear. i empathize w how u feel. i always like talking with friends face to face about this stuff, as i'm processing. helps avoid the despair triggers / unhelpfully-catastrophic thinking. be well, dear
&, for what it's worth, many of us will be living on anyway. we'll be walking past whatever cataclysm might occur, despite it all. and, graciously, you don't need hope to know we need each other. and where there is need, there is motion. & fluidity. <3