This grief has asked me to reconnect with and explore ancestral grief practices. As a trainee therapist, its also asked me to critically consider if the therapeutic container could be a space for exploring self-liberation.
this essay is incredible and the words sit heavy in my chest. they are sitting right around where my grief has made a home in me, which makes sense i guess. i only caught the tail end of the live this afternoon, so thank you thank you for putting this on substack.
you have said that your essays are the greatest thing that you put on the internet, or some such thing, and that may be true; for me at least, i can’t overestimate the value of having a well like this to draw from. it has changed my life. i will continue to read your essays and wish you well each time we are on the world wide web at the same time. i pray that there will be a time when you find peace. until then, stay safe and stay warm.
barely connected stream of consciousness incoming:
every time i come to your posts i am imbued with so much possibility and hope, hope in the most rugged sense not baseless or empty but filled with the might to keep fighting to keep learning to keep bearing witness despite how easy it can be to wallow in despair
recently ive felt like my seeds of grief will blossom in that need for community for building networks of safety for redefining what it means to care for one another to fight for a better world which sounds sort of cliche but is all i want the most
in a more tangible way i’ve also begun to reconnect with my homeland and my own tribal history and practices to return to my roots to the earth to the body esp as someone in the African diaspora living in the imperial core this return of the self will be an important chapter for me of discovery and excavation and as a way to regain agency from the empire who wishes to see me zombified and detached esp in a time like this being present is one of the hardest but important challenges i and people around me face
lastly i do want to thank you again for your constant wisdom and vulnerability its truly one of the bravest things we can do and i want to make sure i am in community with you not just someone who reads and lurks in the shadows in parasocial way of consuming your content even if its done so subconsciously but who is in the fight in the dialogue with you someone who sees you call out into the void and receive voices back that say yes we hear you we’re here im here and change is possible 🫂
like you i do feel something akin to fervent anticipation i feel things moving in the world and shifting i just hope i/we are able to harness this momentum
I look at unprocessed grief resting in my own marrows and can't wait for them to bloom into grief plants with names like revolt, resist, and for the Palestinian people when they are safe, or for comfort, or in protest or for any damn reason repopulate.
I am happy to know I am a part of your constituency as you are also a part of mine. because it means I get to be stirred forward by your words and wish you to find joy in the way God sometimes sends you joy in even the most brutal of moments....
I’ve been sitting in numbness lately, thank you for giving me the words to describe it; I don’t have the marrow for this grief right now. I am also thinking about the weight of this unprocessed grief. I am more tired than ever, everything feels so heavy, I struggle to find joy. I don’t have the energy to process this grief but that unprocessed grief is sapping my energy anyway. I don’t know how to rip the bandaid off but maybe that’s because I’m not ready.
This grief has asked me to reconnect with and explore ancestral grief practices. As a trainee therapist, its also asked me to critically consider if the therapeutic container could be a space for exploring self-liberation.
this essay is incredible and the words sit heavy in my chest. they are sitting right around where my grief has made a home in me, which makes sense i guess. i only caught the tail end of the live this afternoon, so thank you thank you for putting this on substack.
you have said that your essays are the greatest thing that you put on the internet, or some such thing, and that may be true; for me at least, i can’t overestimate the value of having a well like this to draw from. it has changed my life. i will continue to read your essays and wish you well each time we are on the world wide web at the same time. i pray that there will be a time when you find peace. until then, stay safe and stay warm.
barely connected stream of consciousness incoming:
every time i come to your posts i am imbued with so much possibility and hope, hope in the most rugged sense not baseless or empty but filled with the might to keep fighting to keep learning to keep bearing witness despite how easy it can be to wallow in despair
recently ive felt like my seeds of grief will blossom in that need for community for building networks of safety for redefining what it means to care for one another to fight for a better world which sounds sort of cliche but is all i want the most
in a more tangible way i’ve also begun to reconnect with my homeland and my own tribal history and practices to return to my roots to the earth to the body esp as someone in the African diaspora living in the imperial core this return of the self will be an important chapter for me of discovery and excavation and as a way to regain agency from the empire who wishes to see me zombified and detached esp in a time like this being present is one of the hardest but important challenges i and people around me face
lastly i do want to thank you again for your constant wisdom and vulnerability its truly one of the bravest things we can do and i want to make sure i am in community with you not just someone who reads and lurks in the shadows in parasocial way of consuming your content even if its done so subconsciously but who is in the fight in the dialogue with you someone who sees you call out into the void and receive voices back that say yes we hear you we’re here im here and change is possible 🫂
like you i do feel something akin to fervent anticipation i feel things moving in the world and shifting i just hope i/we are able to harness this momentum
your staff, a pen
truer words ig, truer words
I look at unprocessed grief resting in my own marrows and can't wait for them to bloom into grief plants with names like revolt, resist, and for the Palestinian people when they are safe, or for comfort, or in protest or for any damn reason repopulate.
I am happy to know I am a part of your constituency as you are also a part of mine. because it means I get to be stirred forward by your words and wish you to find joy in the way God sometimes sends you joy in even the most brutal of moments....
I’ve been sitting in numbness lately, thank you for giving me the words to describe it; I don’t have the marrow for this grief right now. I am also thinking about the weight of this unprocessed grief. I am more tired than ever, everything feels so heavy, I struggle to find joy. I don’t have the energy to process this grief but that unprocessed grief is sapping my energy anyway. I don’t know how to rip the bandaid off but maybe that’s because I’m not ready.
As always thank you for everything you do <3