White people should pay me (and other FAQs!)

Ismatu, where are you? What is going on?

Big Gay Candle Co. should take the .47c I have left in my bank account I LOVE THEM. BUY CANDLES FROM THEM NOT SPONSORED THIS IS JUST VIBES

Hello, friends!

I am driving across the country on this weird, soul-searchy pilgrimage back to family. I am so much less available than I thought I would be. Driving by myself is so therapeutic. I am emoting so much. I have a lot of art to make for this space and I am excited; for the first time in many years, I am not too tired to make art with my words. I’m overjoyed. It sounds sappy (because it is!! I feel sappy things about you people!) but thank you for being in this space. You don’t realize how much love I am cultivating for you all.

If you haven’t already emailed me to introduce yourself and chit-chat… why. What is stopping you. I love emailing you all so much lol

I have to ask to pause live Black Radical Bookclub sessions for September while I drive. I am still writing, though!

In hindsight, I have no idea how I thought I could run a virtual bookclub while driving across the country. I will still be posting thoughts on the readings as I go, but I cannot host space for learning together in real time until I reach my final destination safe. Thank you all for rockin with me. Please keep sending me emails!! I know it takes me a moment to return them but I love writing to you <3

If you came to the first meeting THANK YOU IT WAS A BLAST

Also, there’s one question that I get quite a lot:

“Hey, I’m a white person. Do you want me in this space?”

Yes. Please pay!

I’m not saying you *have* to pay. I’m certainly not going to kick you out or anything. But you have the opportunity to support a Black, queer creator with $5 a month. You can talk all you want about amplifying and listening to Black voices, however the true test of your politic is if you put your money where your mouth is. You should absolutely pay me. You can also gift subscriptions!

and specifically, to my paid Internet Friends:

You’re literally saving my ass.

I haven’t been to work since July (on account of quarantining for monkeypox and because of the mental conundrums/gender dysphoria detailed in my last post). I am so beyond broke. I have never been this financially destitute in my adult life. I’m oddly not stressed. I know everything works out for me when I am on the path I’m meant to be on.

That being said! Every tank of gas. Every meal I’ve bought on this trip. Even the costs of moving out of my apartment has been paid for by The Garden Space only because you folks love me a lot. Wow. Thank you does not cut it. It simply does not.

I want to thank two people specifically for founding member donations:

Robin and Robert, thank you so much for being founding members. I am gobsmacked by the support. I am so excited to send you the first editions of Black Radical Bookclub tea (which I have indeed selected as our first piece of merch!! it is cozy for the winter months and it is delicious. There’s actually two I can’t decide between so I’m going to send both lol). I also have been collecting you postcards from the cities I stop in on this trip and I love it. I’m writing you little letters on them! I love this!!! The belief you have in me is profound and I cannot thank you enough, so I am giving you as many little bits of myself as I can. Grateful does not cut it. I am in awe.

It’s so special that you two both signed on with absolutely no plans for what you might get. Just goodwill and vibes. Not me tearing up. Thank you. ugh.

Founding membership is still available and I of course encourage anyone to sign up if you like me like that!

Are meet-ups still happening?

I mean… like one person from each city mentioned emailed me about it so… I’m down if y’all are cool! I will be in New Orleans this week so message me again and I will put us all in a thread together. I’m about to eat my weight in beignets. Yes, Lord.

alrighty! wish me luck and traveling mercies. thank you all for being here (paid or not!)

love and love,

ismatu <3